Monday, September 27, 2010
Restaurant
I have great idea for a restaurant. You know how just about every restaurant you go to has really stupid names for all their food, for example, the super slamming big boy burger. Nobody in the world would want to order that… how about just hamburger. So my restaurant is going to have a whole bunch of really crazy names for all the food. Some examples: “Come back to me” “nothing” “I’ll be right back” “something that is really awful” and it might sound a little like an Abbott and Costello skit but whatever I still think it would be a great restaurant.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Take Me Out
I figured out a great way to possibly ask a girl out. I’m sure it’s already been thought of but whatever. Somehow get a girl to drop whatever she’s carrying. You have to be creative enough to figure that out (I’m not going to give it all away… you have to do some work here) then help her pick up her things and slip in your number somewhere amongst them. Also, if you’re feeling lazy or particularly uncreative, find her in a time when she is focused on anything or is super focused on one thing in particular or if she’s just really clumsy. Write your number on a piece of paper and fold it up. Tell her she dropped it; give it to her then walk away. Preferably before she gets a chance to open it and read it.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Me Me Me
I feel like I always think about myself first unfortunately. I’d like to be one of those people that naturally things about others first, but I am not that person. I’ll give you some examples. A little while ago I went for a run and I saw seven different cop cars in five minutes and the first thing I thought was why am I being followed? Also if anybody ever yells somebody’s name out, I look. Even if it isn’t my name, I figure I might know the person. Beyond that, even if it is a name of somebody that I don’t know I still think it will somehow connect back to me.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Fear of the Future
I’m frequently afraid that my life will turn out poorly, and it scares me. I feel it’s only natural for people to fear for their future, so I don’t worry so much when I think, who will my wife be, or what will my job be, or things of that nature. But that isn’t what scares me (granted I would like my life to turn out well, but that isn’t what scares me). What really scares me is the dramatic turns that my life could take in the future, specifically that I might turn out to be a mass murderer and I don’t even know it. What if I just snap and start killing people. I’ve already started to plan out how I would kill somebody and what I would do once they were dead… I think I might have problems…
A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle while a group of geese in the air is a skein.
A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle while a group of geese in the air is a skein.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Insert Name Here
I always have a hard time trying to think of a title for each of my posts. There is never a unifying theme through my many thoughts so I never have a title that covers everything I'm talking about. If anybody could help me in the future, or if you have a suggestion for me, let me know... (although, I have begun to make my posts smaller so that they only cover one subject... it's a long story, if you want to hear it, call me. I'm getting a little bored now that school has started).
Humans in the world should make coasters that are also business cards, or business cards that are also coasters. Then those same people should give me money for my brilliant idea. If this concept has already been created, I should get money anyway. The way I see it, I was just as smart as the guy who created this genius idea in the first place, so I should be entitled to some money. I’m not asking for a lot of money, just a fraction of the amount of money that the original guy got (and my money would depend on how much the original idea was worth, i.e. if the guy got $1,000,000, I don’t think 1% is too much to ask for ($10,000) but if he got $100, I don’t want to be a douche and take some of the small amount that he has… at this point he needs it more than I do).
My friend Joe and my brother (Ryan) created one of the crazy awesomest systems ever. It’s called the perdec system. For example, I think there’s a three perdec chance of snow tomorrow. It would be the same as a 30 percent chance. If you can’t figure it out, you don’t really deserve to use this awesome system.
I'm sorry this is so soon and so long, but this is the real reason for the post and it just occured to me (unlike most of the things I write... almost everything you see on this blog was posted at least three months after it was written) and I'm bored and I want to hear people's thoughts.
I was recently (about five minutes ago) going through my own blog to look at the comments (which has become a very daunting task… I go through all my old posts to see if anybody else has gone through my old posts and decided to comment. It’s always such a letdown because nobody ever does and it takes a good chunk of time and effort) and occasionally reading something I wrote and I realized that some of the things that I say are actually pretty funny… which got me thinking… if it isn’t too much trouble for you, can everybody tell me their favorite (or one of their favorites) blog post of mine up to now. If you tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine…
Humans in the world should make coasters that are also business cards, or business cards that are also coasters. Then those same people should give me money for my brilliant idea. If this concept has already been created, I should get money anyway. The way I see it, I was just as smart as the guy who created this genius idea in the first place, so I should be entitled to some money. I’m not asking for a lot of money, just a fraction of the amount of money that the original guy got (and my money would depend on how much the original idea was worth, i.e. if the guy got $1,000,000, I don’t think 1% is too much to ask for ($10,000) but if he got $100, I don’t want to be a douche and take some of the small amount that he has… at this point he needs it more than I do).
My friend Joe and my brother (Ryan) created one of the crazy awesomest systems ever. It’s called the perdec system. For example, I think there’s a three perdec chance of snow tomorrow. It would be the same as a 30 percent chance. If you can’t figure it out, you don’t really deserve to use this awesome system.
I'm sorry this is so soon and so long, but this is the real reason for the post and it just occured to me (unlike most of the things I write... almost everything you see on this blog was posted at least three months after it was written) and I'm bored and I want to hear people's thoughts.
I was recently (about five minutes ago) going through my own blog to look at the comments (which has become a very daunting task… I go through all my old posts to see if anybody else has gone through my old posts and decided to comment. It’s always such a letdown because nobody ever does and it takes a good chunk of time and effort) and occasionally reading something I wrote and I realized that some of the things that I say are actually pretty funny… which got me thinking… if it isn’t too much trouble for you, can everybody tell me their favorite (or one of their favorites) blog post of mine up to now. If you tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine…
Monday, September 6, 2010
New Cars
The brain is 70% fat.
Have you ever noticed how exciting a new car is? No matter what car it is or what condition it’s in, it will always be interesting to the people that know you best. Even if the car isn’t completely new, even if it’s a used car but it’s new for you, it will be exciting. People will get in your car (even if it’s dented and smells bad and it’s all ripped up) they’ll get in and notice it is a new car and they’ll ask you questions about it. For example, is this a new car? Are these leather seats? What did you name it? Speaking of which, I don’t really like to name my cars. There are four kids in my family, three cars, and two navigational systems. This means that there is a potential for twenty different names (if not more when you include the ipasses and the possibility of switching navigational voices and moving the navigation system to a different car) I never really got the allure of naming a car…
Have you ever noticed how exciting a new car is? No matter what car it is or what condition it’s in, it will always be interesting to the people that know you best. Even if the car isn’t completely new, even if it’s a used car but it’s new for you, it will be exciting. People will get in your car (even if it’s dented and smells bad and it’s all ripped up) they’ll get in and notice it is a new car and they’ll ask you questions about it. For example, is this a new car? Are these leather seats? What did you name it? Speaking of which, I don’t really like to name my cars. There are four kids in my family, three cars, and two navigational systems. This means that there is a potential for twenty different names (if not more when you include the ipasses and the possibility of switching navigational voices and moving the navigation system to a different car) I never really got the allure of naming a car…
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Dating Sites
I think it’s odd how some humans out there have created certain dating sites on the internets, for example match.com, chemistry.com, or eharmony. These sites are created for the people that are desperate enough to go out and tell random people that they need to date somebody. Also, I would guess that the people that use the sites are generally at least thirty or thirty five. I have no facts to prove this, but I would guess that a large amount of people that get married get married in their twenties or early thirties. This suggests that somebody created a website for people that passed through a period of their life where they were experiencing love and serious relationships but never actually tied the knot. Now they’re a point in their life where they are desperate enough to try anything. My question is, if I’m willing to try absolutely anything to try and find my life partner, why would I pay money to use a website that doesn’t allow me to meet with said partner face to face when I could meet up close and person with at least twenty people every night for free? (it’s called a bar)
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