Auto Lawn Mower

I’m guessing most of you have seen the commercials for the automated vacuum cleaner that has a sensor on it so it just travels around your house cleaning and avoiding things it’s supposed to not hit. I think people should make a lawn mower version. Not only would it discourage illegal immigration (joke) but it would also make my life easier. I feel like there is one flaw with this whole plan though (no, not that it would travel off your property, I have ideas for that) which is that I doubt that the sensor thing works all that well, so it’s probably a bad idea to attach blades to something that is roaming around your lawn in random directions, just waiting to cut somebody’s toe off or de-tail your dog. Not good.

The Dentist

I hate going to the dentist. Not because I don’t like the pain (which sucks and always happens) and not because my dentist is a really mean person, but because every single dentist in the world will make sure you know how terrible of a job you did cleaning your teeth. I’m never good enough for them, it’s almost like a competition, me vs. dentist, and I never win. It’s like, hey I’m sorry, I brushed 8 times a day and flossed 4 and I had a broken arm so I couldn’t exactly reach everywhere, but I asked one of my friends to help me… is that plaque that I see? Gosh darn it… I lose again. But really, I tried to tell the dentist I broke my arm and I couldn’t floss and they were still telling me I was doing something wrong… I’m sorry, how about you floss when your elbow is fixed at a right angle.

Special Thread

A couple things for those of you who don't quite keep up with my blog like I do... first you should probably go back and look at my toy dogs section, some information has been added that I would like people to know about. Also, I had this thought in high school at my prom... and it's still good...

Somebody should make glow in the dark thread (somebody probably already has…) and start making a lot of clothing with said thread. It would be so cool. If you had just a black shirt that completely transformed in the night… awesome. Also, to go with it, blacklight thread. Furthermore, once this has become somewhat of a popular idea, I think some high school teacher should utilize the thread while supervising prom. How funny would it be if you saw this super ornate thread pattern in the back of somebody’s tux that said “Come get some” and it was a teacher… hilarious.

Biker Gangs

I mean no disrespect or hard feelings but I think there is something wrong with biker gangs… for starters, it is highly inefficient to drive large packs of people around on one or two person vehicles, not to mention far less safe (for the people riding the bike) in crashes (and probably dangerous for the person that crashed into the person on the bike… retribution from the rest of the bikers…). Furthermore, the style in which they traverse around is a little contradictory to the image that I think they’re trying to give out. What would you think if you saw a bunch of sweating leather clad men together… one of those crazy sex gatherings? Perhaps…