Old and New

It's been a little while since I last did this, so forgive me if I'm a little rusty. For those of you that are new to the blog, thanks for reading. Also, you may find it mildly amusing and/or beneficial to your knowledge of the blog and of me to read some of the first posts first. For those long time readers out there I'm sorry I haven't gotten any new material in a little over a year. For your troubles, I am not only going to post a scottthought from the vault, but also a fresh new one. Hopefully I'll be able to give you new thoughts a couple times a week, but I can't make any promises

old:

I am a lifeguard, and let me tell you, it’s a highly stressful job. You have to worry about being audited every day, and listen to your coworkers complain about how difficult their job is… it’s pretty rough, unless you actually want to be audited and you enjoy listening to your coworkers. In case you don’t know what auditing is, people sneakily watch to make sure that you watch the water properly and then they come and test your skills. Oh and if you do a bad job, you get fired. Admittedly, it can be difficult to get excited about being audited, but there are people out there that like the challenge because they want to test their skills. Now the way I see it, there can only be one way to test your skills better: actually trying to save somebody’s life (and in so doing, become an ultimate badass). I want this to happen to me. Yes, I would probably get super freaked out if it actually happened, but I figure either way at the very least I have a good story… either I saved a guy’s life and I’m awesome, or I did everything I could to save a guy’s life and I watched him die… I could live with either of those options (unfortunately, the guy cannot).

note: I can now say that I actually have saved a life and it was awesome.

new:
The other day I was reflecting and I thought I would like to make myself a better person, but more importantly, I would like other people to see me as a better person. Luckily for me, recently I have been hanging out with nice people and they are already making me feel like a better person, and semi-related, I've also been getting a lot of compliments. In other words, life has been pumping me up a little and I want to give back and make life feel awesome. I have always had respect for my elders, and while some of the common practices of humans in the past have been questionable (if you can't some up with your own example, study history more), I think a lot of the things were very courteous and kind. Keeping that in mind I came up with a self-movement for the betterment of others. I would like to swear less around girls. I've already started preparing for this by thinking of some common phrases, i.e. pardon my french (which was the whole inspiration of this thought). That seems like it would be pretty insulting if you were French doesn't it? If your entire language was categorized something that comes out of a "potty mouth" you might get a little upset. Then I started feeling kinda bad for the French, then I remembered history and I laughed at the French a little and got back to bettering myself.

other note: that was the first live blog thought, that is, the first thought that was written just before posted, not prerecorded

Tattoos and Scars

Tattoos and scars are sort of the same thing. Both are painful and last for a really long time. And often we get them while drunk. Aside from that though, they are not the same thing. However, while some people may want a tattoo to make them look cooler, there are certain scars I wouldn’t mind having to make me look cooler and more interesting. Like how cool would it be to have a scar from a shark bite? AWESOME! Oh what happened to you? A shark bit me, but I managed to tame him (or her, because female sharks can be way cooler than guy sharks) keep it as a pet for a while, then introduce it back into the wild… want to come back to my place? Yes. And there you have it, shark bite scars are cool. I could also go for a small bullet wound, but only if there was a great story behind it.

About 20% of the Earth is permanently frozen.

Revival of the Flyswatter

Apparently America is fat. I blame Texas (or if my movement succeeds, Texass). I have some ideas that could be introduced and enforced on the American public so that we get more fit. For starters, people hate flies, so man thought, if I could make something to kill these flies for me, I wouldn’t have to. And with that, man was smart, but man neglected to think, if I don’t have to this then that will happen and then I’ll be fat. And my solution to this is that we make the killing of flies exercise friendly. Instead of arming the people with gigantic bug zappers, arm them all with flyswatters. Then instead of sitting and watching flies die, you would be running around and killing them. It would probably also make our hand eye coordination better. And yes I realize this won’t make all people skinny again, but it is a step in the right direction.

The first electric-powered carriage was built in Scotland in the 1930's.

Camera Flaws

A while ago, I was really immature (now I’m just immature). Back in those days (high school era) different things were funny and different things were important. Back then, a fart joke made me laugh (now only poop jokes make me laugh), and I seemed to think it would be funny to get pictures of my classmates when they looked weird (only when I had a camera in my hands. I didn’t own one and I didn’t think it was funny enough to get one). So if I managed to get my hands on a camera, I tried to take a picture of somebody looking dumb. This is a lot harder than it might sound at first. Cameras don’t tend to take a picture when you press the magic “take picture now” button. In fact, a more accurate name would be “take the picture in three to five seconds after flashing a bunch of lights inevitably changing what the picture would actually look like if the picture was taken now.” So I propose that if you happen to find yourself in a designing cameras type of job, you should make the camera take the picture when I press the button.

Turn Signal

Whoever invented the turn signal is a genius. Not because we should be alerting other drivers of our intentions, but the way it was designed. Every car I have been in has the turn signal on the left side of the wheel. While turning left, the left side of the wheel goes down (and turning right, the left goes up). In case you haven’t noticed, turn signals function the same (left is down and right is up). It makes them so much easier to remember and so much better. Props turn signal guy!

I Don't Know

If you haven’t ever met me… I don’t know is one of the most common phrases uttered from my mouth. A lot of the time I just don’t care or don’t know the answer. It also happens to be one of the most useless things people say on a regular basis. If you ask a question and somebody responds like that, you have gained no useful knowledge almost guaranteed. If you ever don’t know the answer, make up something funny (but not believable… that might end poorly) or try and find something useful to say (that’s not an order, just a suggestion).

How's College?

I find the question: “How’s college?” very irksome. It’s very difficult to describe how college is going… so most of the time I just end up saying “good" or something like that. I’m not sure if people understand, but college is kind of a huge thing that can’t be discussed with a single question. It takes many many different questions for you to adequately know how my college experience is. That’s why from now on, I plan on responding: If you’re there or you’ve been, you should know; if you’re going to go, get excited and you’ll find out soon enough; and if you aren’t going and haven’t been, you missed out.

One in every four Americans has appeared on television.

Rigged Sports

I was recently watching the Stanley cup playoffs and the LeBron deal and my dad said something that made me reconsider sports as I know them. I’ve known for some time now that pro wrestling is fake (if you didn’t, sorry to ruin it for you). Every time I happen to see it, I can see them stomp their feet every time they “hit” their opponent. And I think Hulk Hogan said (on Hogan Knows Best) something like: in the beginning I was just a bad guy so they (the proverbial they, in this case, the powers that be of wrestling, which are humans (interested in getting the best TV ratings and crowds at the “matches” (plays)), no there aren’t wrestling gods) made me lose, but then the fans started to love me, so they started to make me win more. Even more evidence (as if that wasn’t enough) is that I saw a wrestler actually get a little hurt (on TV, I would never go to one of those things) and I could tell that he was hurt and so could the other wrestler. I could actually see when the other wrestler bent over to ask the guy if he was ok… it was pretty funny. But now for my revelation… what’s to say that all sports aren’t rigged. Maybe that’s why the top three free agents all went to the same team, because somebody already knows everything that’s going to happen in basketball because they are saying what happens. Maybe that’s why nobody has had a no loss season since the Dolphins. Perhaps somebody is behind all of the curtains…