Religious Math

This is an old thought:

I could definitely see math becoming a religion, believing all things that had happened could all be shown to happen with math, trying to use equations to predict the future with equations, and looking for the one true ultimate equation that would be the solution to everything and mix the entirety of everything all together in one big lump. Yep, I could definitely see math being a religion.

So Scott Thought. 

How I Met Lampy the Bean

I have a friend named Lampy the Bean. Admittedly Lampy has not always been his name, it’s a nickname that my mom inadvertently gave to him, but that comes later. So here’s the story of how I met Lampy, and like any good story, it starts in Mexico. It was about five years past now when my family and I were on a vacation in Mexico for my grandparents’ anniversary, and thus it was a nice family vacation. One day, however, we decided to go looking for a “real” Mexican place (because apparently being located in Mexico isn’t enough to call it a “real” Mexican restaurant). Eventually we found a place that looked like it would have good food but was in a place that didn’t make us fear for our lives too much. We get in and we’re served dinner, the meal is winding down and I’m at the table with my oldest cousin Bob and there’s a pepper on my plate. So naturally, Bob tries to get me to eat the pepper and he offers me a one peso coin. At first this seemed like a good idea, but I decided I wasn’t that easy and I would hold out for more, plus after a quick conversion I realized it was only ten cents. A short while later he had doubled his offer to two pesos. I agreed, the terms were set, and we had a deal. I ate the pepper and shortly thereafter believed I had won out because it wasn’t too hot, when all of the sudden it started to burn. I quickly downed two or three waters because of course all the food was gone (meal winding down, remember) and had slightly lessened the degree of the burning at the cost of some spreading. Moments later as we were leaving, we found out that each glass of water had cost extra… oops. Naturally, years down the road my cousin remembers this and introduced me to my friend Lampy on, or very near to, my birthday I think. Last summer I felt an extra special connection to Lampy and consequently he was around a lot more often. When my mom saw Lampy she would always call him the bean plant. What about that bean plant over there? When are you going to take that to college? Then as we were traveling to drop me off at the airport to go to college while he was in the car, my mom again misnamed him and just called him Lampy. We already thought the bean plant was such a funny name when I said Lampy the bean, it just stuck. That’s how I met my magnificent ghost pepper plant, Lampy the Bean plant. And now I would like to issue a challenge to my cousin, Bob: once I have grown peppers, I want you to have one with me and write a review on your blog.

So Scott thought.

Product Magic

I had some thoughts so I'm going to write them out for you.

Have you ever noticed how some of the companies out there are actually doing it right for us consumers? It's not that they make products that just work, they make things for us that are magic. It sometimes makes me proud to use their stuff, which just makes me feel better, so I like the product more. These companies put me in a catch twenty two of goodness and I call it magic. For example toilet paper. All I'm saying is some companies some that super thin, sand papery crap and some make that thick fluffy, cloud like toilet paper. Or northface, I was always a little disappointed to say it. but I was ashamed to have a northface and be one of those guys. However now I've come to terms with my ownership. In fact I'm happy I have one and you know why? They're warm and I think my jacket actually looks good on me so I like to wear it. One product that I'd really like to highlight though is mane and tail. I warned my roommate Matt five days ago about the sheer awesome power and magic of this shampoo and conditioner. He was totally not believing me until he actually used it. This is not a product to be trifled with, it must be respected and used properly and it will be awesome. That's why I always like to look for that extra special part of a company, their product magicness. 

Have you ever noticed how draining it can be going to the bank? First you have to drive to the bank and somehow the route is always crowded with moron drivers and the bank closes in five minutes. Then you get there and you have to find a parking space in the lot, but you know it will only take a couple minutes so you contemplate illegally parking. Then decide to just find a space. Then as soon as you get into the building, every worker looks at you and they swarm you all trying to help you out (and trick you into spending money in one way or another)… it can be really stressful.

That was a bonus because I had to go to the bank today and get some quarters for laundry and I was again swarmed by a guy. On the bright side I walked so I avoided driving problems, but I had to stop a lot at intersections.

Sports Nation

This is an old thought with new ideas added in and I was having some trouble remembering complete new ideas, so you just get one for now... sorry.

Baseball fields sort of have their own little nation inside of them… they have their own laws, traditions, and even discriminations. First, I would point out that in a stadium, it is perfectly acceptable to eat peanuts and throw the shells wherever they may land. Furthermore, everybody has their own team anthem (i.e. Go Cubs Go). And everybody hates the other team. There are unified rules by which everybody plays, but there are also subtle variations, say between NL and AL. In my marvelous academic career I've learned a thing or two about geography and I'm reminded of a couple interesting terms, states and nations. It was a few years ago, so I may be a little off on the exact definition, but in my recollection of the definitions, states were places geographically bound by humans for example a country. On the other hand, nations are places were humans feel connected to other humans much like how people sometimes rally to support a baseball team. Of course this goes beyond just baseball, you can see it in almost every sport. Once you cross the gates, it’s a whole new world.

The first Major League Baseball stadium to feature a live organist was Chicago’s Wrigley Field in 1941.

Old and New

It's been a little while since I last did this, so forgive me if I'm a little rusty. For those of you that are new to the blog, thanks for reading. Also, you may find it mildly amusing and/or beneficial to your knowledge of the blog and of me to read some of the first posts first. For those long time readers out there I'm sorry I haven't gotten any new material in a little over a year. For your troubles, I am not only going to post a scottthought from the vault, but also a fresh new one. Hopefully I'll be able to give you new thoughts a couple times a week, but I can't make any promises

old:

I am a lifeguard, and let me tell you, it’s a highly stressful job. You have to worry about being audited every day, and listen to your coworkers complain about how difficult their job is… it’s pretty rough, unless you actually want to be audited and you enjoy listening to your coworkers. In case you don’t know what auditing is, people sneakily watch to make sure that you watch the water properly and then they come and test your skills. Oh and if you do a bad job, you get fired. Admittedly, it can be difficult to get excited about being audited, but there are people out there that like the challenge because they want to test their skills. Now the way I see it, there can only be one way to test your skills better: actually trying to save somebody’s life (and in so doing, become an ultimate badass). I want this to happen to me. Yes, I would probably get super freaked out if it actually happened, but I figure either way at the very least I have a good story… either I saved a guy’s life and I’m awesome, or I did everything I could to save a guy’s life and I watched him die… I could live with either of those options (unfortunately, the guy cannot).

note: I can now say that I actually have saved a life and it was awesome.

new:
The other day I was reflecting and I thought I would like to make myself a better person, but more importantly, I would like other people to see me as a better person. Luckily for me, recently I have been hanging out with nice people and they are already making me feel like a better person, and semi-related, I've also been getting a lot of compliments. In other words, life has been pumping me up a little and I want to give back and make life feel awesome. I have always had respect for my elders, and while some of the common practices of humans in the past have been questionable (if you can't some up with your own example, study history more), I think a lot of the things were very courteous and kind. Keeping that in mind I came up with a self-movement for the betterment of others. I would like to swear less around girls. I've already started preparing for this by thinking of some common phrases, i.e. pardon my french (which was the whole inspiration of this thought). That seems like it would be pretty insulting if you were French doesn't it? If your entire language was categorized something that comes out of a "potty mouth" you might get a little upset. Then I started feeling kinda bad for the French, then I remembered history and I laughed at the French a little and got back to bettering myself.

other note: that was the first live blog thought, that is, the first thought that was written just before posted, not prerecorded

Tattoos and Scars

Tattoos and scars are sort of the same thing. Both are painful and last for a really long time. And often we get them while drunk. Aside from that though, they are not the same thing. However, while some people may want a tattoo to make them look cooler, there are certain scars I wouldn’t mind having to make me look cooler and more interesting. Like how cool would it be to have a scar from a shark bite? AWESOME! Oh what happened to you? A shark bit me, but I managed to tame him (or her, because female sharks can be way cooler than guy sharks) keep it as a pet for a while, then introduce it back into the wild… want to come back to my place? Yes. And there you have it, shark bite scars are cool. I could also go for a small bullet wound, but only if there was a great story behind it.

About 20% of the Earth is permanently frozen.

Revival of the Flyswatter

Apparently America is fat. I blame Texas (or if my movement succeeds, Texass). I have some ideas that could be introduced and enforced on the American public so that we get more fit. For starters, people hate flies, so man thought, if I could make something to kill these flies for me, I wouldn’t have to. And with that, man was smart, but man neglected to think, if I don’t have to this then that will happen and then I’ll be fat. And my solution to this is that we make the killing of flies exercise friendly. Instead of arming the people with gigantic bug zappers, arm them all with flyswatters. Then instead of sitting and watching flies die, you would be running around and killing them. It would probably also make our hand eye coordination better. And yes I realize this won’t make all people skinny again, but it is a step in the right direction.

The first electric-powered carriage was built in Scotland in the 1930's.