Holidays and Mixing it up

Unites States holidays are one big celebration of crap. I’m sorry. Take a second to think about this… Thanksgiving- Thanks for the land Native Americans, Independence Day- Take that England, Martin Luther King Day- We’re sorry we killed you Dr. King, Abraham Lincoln’s birthday- Sorry we killed you too… don’t get me wrong, these are all great holidays, I just think they’re a little questionable.

I have a rhetorical question to pose for all of those people who read my blog. While going about your daily routine, how often do you do the exact same thing every single time. Take me for example, every time I walk to class, I go the exact same way… I’m not saying the same streets, I’m saying the same side of the street. This got me thinking, what if your soul mate did the exact same thing as you every single day at the same time, just on the opposite side of the street? You would never meet your spouse simply because you didn’t walk on the other side of the street. Maybe you should mix up your schedule a little.

Human Insanity

Insanity is itself a conundrum. We have people (who are quite possibly insane themselves) telling us who they think is insane, while the people who actually think they are insane could never be insane because they know they are, which means they aren’t. Meanwhile, we have ordinary everyday people walking on the street telling their friends about people who are absolutely crazy (that’s a crazy b!@#*) who most people would say is sane (the everyday ordinary person). But how do we know the “ordinary people” aren’t the crazy ones and the “insane” people aren’t normal?

I was watching TV recently and I saw a very curious show. The show is called John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show and I have to give it mad props. John Oliver has a bunch of comedians come onto his show and do bits in front of a live audience. But it isn’t a TV audience, this show is in a theater. This is genius. Now not only is he getting money from the people watching this show on TV, but he also gets money from the people that are paying to watch the show live. Of course this is a genius idea only if you like money…

Annoyances and Conspiracy Theories

I have begun to do a lot of really stupid things that just annoy the crap out of me (which makes me scared to think how much they could annoy other people). For one thing, I sometimes copy hand motions of other people when I think the hand motions are cool. That said, I think I picked this up all on my own (I didn’t see anybody doing it before me): I wave my hands around a lot when telling stories (and perhaps talking in general), but whenever I do, my fingers are always in really odd positions. I think it’s really weird and odd looking, but I can’t stop. I have also begun to realize that I’m a one-upper. It’s a kind of human being that whenever they hear about somebody else, they say something that’s one better (oh your kid was the second best swimmer in the state, well my kid is the best runner in the state and the smartest one to boot). As much as I would wish against it, whenever somebody talks, I always find myself thinking about something that I did that’s better than them… I might not always say it, but I’m usually thinking it. Last, my stories always take a really long time to tell… I think it might be because people interrupt me, which is why recently, when I’m being interrupted, I start to tell people to be quiet because I’m telling a story. I wish I could stop because whatever you’re saying is more important than what I’m saying… I guarantee it.

I’m beginning to think that the world is conspiring against me. It would be kind of like The Truman Show only instead of a show where everything in a man’s life is controlled for TV, it would be controlled to make his life worse. For example, sometimes when I don’t hear from my friends for extended periods of time, I think maybe one person in the group told everybody else not to talk to me, or people at Wisconsin are avoiding me on purpose so that I won’t make any friends. (Warning: I might be compliment fishing, I’m not sure. You don’t need to call me and tell me how great I am (I don’t want you to lie) and I realize that these thoughts are completely ridiculous. However, if any part of this is true, please call me and tell me so).