Loaded Questions

I get paranoid a lot… you should know that by now if you read my blog. I have a lot of thoughts in my head that are odd, strange, and just plain weird that might suggest that I have issues in my head (in my opinion). So a lot of the time when I’m paranoid, I tend to ask loaded questions (i.e. did you not respond because you forgot about me or is it just because you don’t like me?) which don’t really have any good answers. I think that there are probably a lot of other people out there that do the same thing that I do… in fact I have seen it happen, it’s nothing special. However, if you ever see somebody answer a loaded question correctly, it’s a sight to see. Imagine (if you will, for just a second) a conversation between two people. The first says, “Did you not respond because you forgot about me or is it just because you don’t like me?” the other responds, “I’m sorry, I was just busy saving 11 people from a burning building then picking up only the most awesome thing ever that I knew you wanted…” and then how does person one respond. By going from anger to happiness, forgiveness, etc. in about .3142 seconds while at the same time not having anything at all to say… priceless.

Toy Dogs

I was recently living my life (no big, I do it all the time) and I saw somebody carrying their dog around and this thought occurred to me: if you need to carry your dog around, you need a new dog. There is a reason people “walk the dog” and that is that all dogs need to walk around and relieve themselves at some point in time and if your dog is so small that you can carry it and it can’t keep up with you when you’re walking about, your dog is too weak. It’s called natural selection, let life run its course. That said, I think they’re really cute (sometimes). I just wouldn’t want to own one.

Business: SPACE!

I think it would be really cool if space travel was a business, like an amusement ride. I’ve talked about this before with my friend Matt and we’ve decided to try and be the first to do so, which would be doubly awesome because then we would have a monopoly on the business and it would be even cooler (because we would be rich and going into space all the time and space is the coolest). As far as I can tell though, somebody needs to create one of the following before this idea is actually possible: a really cheap space ship or a spaceship that could be used over and over and over again. Get to work people.

Torture

I think our government (or other people’s parents) should experiment with some new tortures I have devised. Instead of doing whatever crazy torture that they do now, the government should tie the men (that they capture) down in a room, and let in their mother in law and let the mom just talk the prisoner’s ears off about how terrible he is… and so forth (not that I have anything wrong with mother in laws, it just stems from things I’ve heard (and it obviously doesn’t apply to all mother in laws)). Or they could bring in the prisoner’s ex-girlfriend or older brother (the brother would just bully the prisoner… noogies and so forth). And this all stems from the master of all alarm clocks. The alarm clock I’m talking about goes off and if you snooze it for more than three minutes, it will call a random person from your phonebook on your cell phone. No I don’t have one, but I wish I did just so I could have interesting conversations with people. Why are you calling?... your alarm clock? Come on, do you expect me to believe that?

First Impressions of Clothing

I have recently noticed that there is a certain connection with what people may be wearing at any random point in time (for example when you first look at them…) and how you happen to perceive them and how it makes an impression on you (yes, I know I’m slow… but I got it eventually). One specific example that I noticed was shorts. When people first start breaking out shorts in the spring, the shorts just look so comfortable and as a result, the person who wears the shorts looks really relaxed and chill.