Torture

I think our government (or other people’s parents) should experiment with some new tortures I have devised. Instead of doing whatever crazy torture that they do now, the government should tie the men (that they capture) down in a room, and let in their mother in law and let the mom just talk the prisoner’s ears off about how terrible he is… and so forth (not that I have anything wrong with mother in laws, it just stems from things I’ve heard (and it obviously doesn’t apply to all mother in laws)). Or they could bring in the prisoner’s ex-girlfriend or older brother (the brother would just bully the prisoner… noogies and so forth). And this all stems from the master of all alarm clocks. The alarm clock I’m talking about goes off and if you snooze it for more than three minutes, it will call a random person from your phonebook on your cell phone. No I don’t have one, but I wish I did just so I could have interesting conversations with people. Why are you calling?... your alarm clock? Come on, do you expect me to believe that?